Note To Al Gore On Global Warming

Dear Mr. Gore,

You once ran for the presidency. Some are still saying that the election was stolen from you because some Florida judges fell under the sway of the Svengali-like George W. Bush and his mad quest to impose his right-wing religious agenda on this great nation. Chief among the Bush agenda is the deliberate destruction of the environment in an attempt to hasten the Apocalypse. You recently rose to the challenge of exposing this diabolical plan as it pertains to the advancing world-wide disaster of environmental collapse occasioned by global warming. Good on you Sir!

You make a passionate appeal to the public to wake-up before it is too late. But Sir, you may need to reassess your message. There is now evidence that we won’t be cooked to death by global warming. Instead, global warming might actually be responsible for freezing us to death. A recent report had this to say:

Researchers at Newcastle University looked at temperature trends in the western Himalaya over the past century.

They found warmer winters and cooler summers, combined with more snow and rainfall, could be causing some mountain glaciers to increase in size.

It seems that the science on this whole thing about global warming is unsettled. Perhaps you should develop a sequel to your movie detailing how global warming is going to simultaneously fry and freeze us to death.

Any way that you slice it, it appears that the evil Pres. George W. Bush is the proximate cause for all of this unpleasantness. He is truly a remarkable man, don’t you think? Imagine, orchestrating a World War and causing environmental chaos all at the same time. Oh I forgot, he is also raping and pillaging the entitlements of our disadvantaged citizens. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones who don’t bother to get an education or job and live on the public dole. My god, does the man ever sleep?

Al, our country needs you now more than ever. Perhaps you can make a political come-back and capture your rightful place as President. You do deserve it after all, being that you are brighter than most of the rest of us. That’s why you latched onto the global warming issue, isn’t it? Nothing like a little political opportunism to fire things up. Or, is it to freeze things up?